im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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