taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
