Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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