His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
