I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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