The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
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I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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