she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
