I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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