i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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