Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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