I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
