Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize