Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
