yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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