i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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