just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
