I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize