I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
