Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
