Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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