When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
