There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
