FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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