I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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