you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize