He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
