You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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