For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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