Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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