Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
