im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
