There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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