White coat. Heels.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
