If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize