Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
