I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
