It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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