We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is Oprah even human
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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