I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
