:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize