Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
