No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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