This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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