singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
