Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
