People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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