I want to make a zoo with you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
