Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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