She's JV to your varsity
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Help. Why am I so naked?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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