thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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