There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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