Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize