Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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