is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
